I’m at a loss

I’m at a loss. When a natural part of life, that is painful and disagreeable, is upon you, all you can do is grab hold to the people you love that are near and hold on. I want to take away all the pain my loved one is feeling. The really awful thing is, I am going to have to go through the same thing some day. Hopefully very far in the future, but I’ll have to go through it all the same.

What do I say? It doesn’t matter that we’ve had so much time with them. We only want more. Why is this part of life so difficult? If evolution is supposed to get rid of the stuff ,that burdens us and does nothing to improve our existence, why do we grieve so strongly? It’s not a surprise to us, that at some point, unknown to us, the physical body is worn out and stops working. Why does it hurt so damn much then? Why does it feel like a piece of our physical self, is being ripped out?

I’m at a loss. It’s wearing on my heart and my head. Times like these, I wish I could run away and avoid these inevitable happenings. I wish I could play hide and seek with death. A card game, or trivia. Maybe just keep It entertained and distracted so It forgets to take my loved ones until I was gone first.

I know this is rambling. I’m at a loss. Preparing for a loss. I can’t really prepare for it though. I really don’t think anyone can.